I am 100% fucking done with today.

I have never felt so defeated as a mother.

My poor baby :/

Well Aubrey has a UTI.

I’m so glad we went to Children’s Health Care of Atlanta because they ended up having to use a catheter to get a urine sample. And if ANYONE was going to have to do a catheter I would have definitely rather it be them and not some random ER doctor with no experience with children.

It was quick and she was crying but not a pain cry thank God, more of just upset that we were holding her down. But I felt awful non the less. I was terrified that she was going to be in so much pain. :/

Today was just all around terrible.

But hopefully these antibiotics will help her.

:(

Well Aubrey is sick

She is running a fever and threw up all over me this morning.

I can also hear mucous in her chest. I swear if this is RSV again I’m going to flip.

Thankfully there is a Tricare approved children’s urgent care clinic not far from us and I just called tricare and got a referral.

Yay for vacations!

Me and my mom are going to have it out before this trip is over

She keeps pushing Aubrey to do shit when she is obviously not comfortable.

My stepdad came home and my mom grabbed Aubrey and tried to bring her over to him and she got scared and stiffened her body and started fussing because she doesn’t know him.

I told my mom to give Aubrey back to me because she was scared.

My mom says “Alyssa she’s fine, she’s not going to be traumatized.” And then wouldn’t give her to me at first.


No fuck you. My child is scared. You are trying to force her to see him and she doesn’t want to. SHE IS FUCKING SCARED. I am her mother and it is my job to protect her and make her feel safe.

GIVE ME MY FUCKING CHILD NOW. When I tell you to do something when it comes to MY child you Fucking do it or you won’t be interacting with my child at all period.

Ugh I can’t stand my mom.

I must be being so over sensitive today

Does it irk anyone else when people try to make your child play with things the “right” way?

I let Aubrey play with her toys and pretty much anything else that isn’t bad for her any way that she wants. I let her explore it any way that she feels like.

But my mom keeps pushing for her to do everything the “right”way.

Like everything needs to be turned the right way and she only wants her to play with one toy at a time and anything that isn’t specifically a baby toy is off limits.

Idk I just can’t stand my mom in general so I think pretty much everything she does drives me crazy.

phantasmaldexterity:

i almost scrolled awayalmost

phantasmaldexterity:

i almost scrolled away
almost

(Source: chemkitt, via jlaudenslager)

My mom is driving me Fucking crazy

She’s trying to force me to let her hold Aubrey even though Aubrey starts to fuss and is obviously not comfortable.

Like just Fucking wait! Let her get comfortable first. She doesn’t even know you.

My mom thinks that just because she was there when she was born that she has this amazing bond with her and blah blah blah.

She said to me “Just give her to me, a grandmother is just as comforting as a mother.”

Um…….not when she doesn’t Fucking know you!!!

Back the hell off!

I keep having dreams that I’m pregnant

And I HATE that, because then I worry that I could be.

I mean I shouldn’t be, but ugh.

I would be devastated. I’m no where near ready for another baby. I want Aubrey to get to be the baby for a long time. I really haven’t even decided if I ever want another child.

And everyone looks at me like I’m awful when I say that but whatever.

I just really don’t want to be doing it alone all the time with multiple children.